Moving On

It was on August 17, 2011 that I had an incoming call on a number I did not recognize. I was hesitant to answer because, it was during the time that I was at work. I decided to answer my phone. 

There was a man’s voice saying I’m detective …., he continued talking and told me they have my spouse in custody. 

Shortly after hanging up the phone and trying to deal with my emotions the best that I could.  I headed home, when I arrived at the house one of the neighbors came over to see how I was doing. This particular neighbor was home during the time of arrest.  They woke up when they heard ‘come out’ we have the house surrounded. 

The neighbor told me a swat team was camped out and around the house, there were cop cars everywhere including a hummer pulled up on the lawn in the front yard. 

When I arrived at the house and entered the home. I found the house in total disarray, much like my life was and had been being married to this man. What was our bedroom was now turned upside down.  The mattresses were not even on the bed frame. The laundry baskets where under the bed frame.  All clean and dirty clothing was thrown all around the room and pulled out of the closets and out of the dresser drawers. I couldn’t sleep in my bedroom for months. I felt violated and a victim. 

I stuck the marriage out through all the court dates and visits trying to gain some knowledge of how this came to be. When he was sentenced to 18 years in prison.  I went to him shortly thereafter to tell him I am done! 

During this time his friends were coming after me for various reasons. I had to move away and change my phone number. 

When I moved away, I became entangled with living an unrighteous life. I was influenced to party, be single and mingle.  

Eventually, I got on my knees and surrendered to the comfort of Jesus arms for security and knowledge in His word. My christian friends haven’t brought me down to the pit, they were on the outside of the pit, filling me and my kids with life, love and encouraging us along the way. 

Surrendering meant I finally gave everything to God and I told Him I am done with this self-seeking mission of mine! I needed to learn what unconditional love was. It was not pursuing everything on my own. It was giving everything to God.

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