There have been some changes in me in my writings I will tell you about where those changes have taken me. Although, you first need to know it was because, I had an experience that literally changed my course in my life and made me who I am today. Let me start with how I thought at one time. I used to think God did not care about me but, I now feel much more settled about those feelings. There was a time when I thought God did not exist. I thought of myself as useless, unwanted, used and an abused individual. All those things had taken place throughout my life. I was too trusting, I took everyone at face value. I was easily influenced by others. I was going through life wanting happiness, bending over backwards for others. While I filled their wants needs and desires mine were not being filled, which left me feeling used, abused, dirty and ashamed. After all these events took place I had to repent and surrender my life to God. I turned to God and gave him everything and I stopped pursuing everything on my own. I told God I am yours use me, fill me, complete me and deliver me what you feel I deserve when you feel the timing is right, not what’s on my agenda. I gave God the steering wheel and allowed him to turn it. I let go of everything, I thanked him for where I was. I enjoyed and loved what I had at the moment even if it wasn’t much, the most important thing was that I was able to focus on my two children. I now see Jesus as my father that I can go to any time of the day or night. When I had this change happen to me I started to spend more time in His word. Since then I have learned that I can lean into him, versus others. Something that I’m asking for these days is for God to show me how I can make an impact in others lives? I have endured countless things that have been thrown upon me. Including one particular day, the day I asked God a question. This particular question I asked God was on a blazing hot day in the greater Sacramento area of California! I was the ripe age of 43. At this time in my life I had been remarried for 6 years, although, I had two children from a prior marriage. My son had just turned 14 years old and my daughter was only 10 years old. During this time I was about fifteen pounds overweight at that was only because there was no time to eat or cook meals at home and no time to exercise. At this time a prior spouse and I owned and operated a security business. We both had our private investigators licenses. I was working full-time for a technology company, re-enrolling in college and I owned and operated my own business that was open by appointment only. This business catered to teaching children how to make, bake and decorate.
The vehicle I was driving (borrowing) at the time was a my spouses friends car, which was a 1959 1/2 year old Ford Mustang this car was in great condition outside of needing a tune-up. I say that because on August 16, 2011 as I was driving this car from my work to pickup my son from his football practice the car started sputtering, cutting out, hesitating, so I started praying to God for him to get me to the high school. When I arrived at the high school, I sought out a particular parking spot that would allow me to drive forward out of versus backing out of a parking spot. Once, I parked and turned off the car and sat there sweating to death awaiting my son arrival. I phoned my spouse to tell him what was going on with the car. He was supposed to give the car a tune-up the weekend prior to this particular day. When I called him from the car I asked him why he didn’t do what he said he was going to do. I continued to tell him I am basically stranded and afraid to drive the car further. He said,”I will take care of the car when you get home.” I said, I think I would have a better chance to have it taken care of if I run by and get the car looked at by a professional. I was so upset that I was put in this predicament in the first place. I was frustrated and emotional over the phone with him. Shortly after hanging up on him, I looked up into the sky which was around 6:00 pm and asked God can my life get any worse? Well, I will admit to you right now to my dismay the answer was YES! Yes, it’s going to get a lot worse! Have you ever asked GOD in a prayer for an answer and expect or at least hope for the answer sooner rather than later? Well I can tell you mine was answered less than 24 hours later. My question to GOD took place around the 6:00 o’clock in the evening of August 16, 2011 and was answered the very next day around the 2:00 o’clock in the afternoon hour. Before I tell you what happened you will need you to understand why it happened.